Challenge: Change Your Story

Published on November 15, 2011


Change Your Story blog at www.nikkiandchris.comLet’s talk about our ability to create and how what we create in our minds ultimately determines our results. We have such a vivid imagination and we frequently use use it to make up stories. The stories we create in our minds (and tell ourselves over and over again) affect our mood, our relationships, our health, and ultimately the results we get in our lives.

We create two types of stories.

1) Stories about past events.

2) Stories about future events.

Past events can be things that happened 2 seconds ago, 2 years ago, or even 20 years or more in the past.

Take for example driving. This is where I see stories made up A LOT!  Someone in front of you is driving really slow or they make a wrong turn and cause a near collision with you or another car. And so the stories begin...

As observers of the event, we don’t REALLY know what is going on with the other driver so we are making up our own stories. We may assume that the person in that car is not paying attention or that they are “texting” their friend while driving.  We may conclude that they don’t care about other people on the road and that they are just rude and uncaring.

What is the truth..the real story? Maybe the driver is sick and being cautious while driving to the pharmacy to get medication. Maybe they just got news that a loved one died and so they are crying on their way to identify the body.  Or better yet, a child in the car seat in the back just said their first word, “Mommy,” and the driver is so shocked that she unintentionally misses her turn.

What story do we CHOOSE to make up? Either way, good or bad, we are making up a story. So, why not make up a story that creates a positive emotion in us vs a negative one? Why not choose to create positive emotions like empathy, care, joy, or appreciation instead of anxiety, anger, resentment, or rage.

Stories about future events are really interesting. I have actually heard people say, “I am going to hold an open house today, but I can guarantee you that no one will show up.” Or people say things like, “This Christmas is going to the be worst one ever.”

CAUTION: We create what we expect! If you expect a holiday to be crappy, it probably will be. Why? Because as human beings, we seek to validate our beliefs. We are masters at proving ourselves to be right! If you tell someone that you are going to have an open house where no one shows up, it is almost certain no one will... you have literally set up the expectation and the Universe is happy to deliver.

Similarly, if you make up the story that because your mother was fat at age 45 you will also be fat at age 45, you probably will. If you tell yourself the story that because your father died of a heart attack at age 50 and that you too will perish in that age range, you will inherently create a lifestyle that will seek to validate the story you have created in your own mind.

The stories you make up come true. As an intelligent human being, you see to it that they do. Einstein

HERE IS THE KICKER... most often the stories we make up, past and future,  are stories that cause us to feel bad. They cause us to have a negative feeling. Maybe the story creates anxiety, fear, sadness, guilt, anger, or even resentment. All those negative energies take a toll on us. There are a lot of reasons why this is true, but not enough space in this post to go into all of them.

Positive energies feel good; negative energies feel crappy.

When having a negative feeling about something or SOMEONE, ask yourself, “What story am I making up that is causing me to feel badly?”

Change your story. Make it a good one. Fill in the blanks creating a positive emotional charge!

Challenge #1:
Starting today, pay attention to the stories you make up and are telling yourself in your mind. Here are some places that you might begin to notice your stories and decide to re-frame them so that you can FEEL GOOD rather than feeling bad.

Remember the formula that T. Harv Ecker teaches in his book, “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”?  It goes like this:

P-T-F-A-R ... Programming (our beliefs based on past experiences, teachings, etc) create our Thoughts (our stories) which create our Feelings (emotions both good and bad) which then determine our Actions (what we do or don’t do) which ultimately create our Results (what we get).

You can see from this formula that the stories you make up create chain reactions which ultimately lead to your results.

Want to make more money, have a better marriage, have more fun, achieve better health?

Your thoughts matter.

If you really want to stretch yourself, attempt to remain neutral in your conclusions. When you don’t have enough information, just remain in a place of curiosity. No story...just be content in the NOT knowing.

Admit that your story is... JUST A STORY.


Nikki and Chris are recognized international real estate coaches, trainers, and speakers. Their specialty is guiding real estate agents and brokers toward creating highly profitable businesses and amazingly successful lives.  Clients who hire Nikki and Chris are often seeking assistance in increasing their profitability without sacrificing their health, relationships, and core values. To learn more or see additional blogs go to

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