Stuck is Stuck is Stuck

Published on June 28, 2011

Have you ever heard someone say, “I just feel stuck.”

Maybe you have said it yourself.

“Stuck” usually means one of two things:

1 . Paralyzed. Not able to do anything. Not forward movement... not side to side movement...nothing. Just plain STUCK.

2. Caught in a reoccurring cycle of "stuckness." Doing the same thing over and over again and unsure of how to do it differently. Truly desiring a new way ... a different path ... a creative solution to an old issue, but unable to break away from the old, familiar, and all to comfortable and predictable pattern of behavior that continues to yield the same predictable and less than satisfactory outcomes. Moving...but STUCK.

Both types of stuck are uncomfortable places to be. Face it ... stuck is stuck is stuck.

The absolute favorite part of my job as a coach is helping people get UN-STUCK. Most of the time their stuckness is just a lack of clarity. It is a feeling that they have... a feeling of wanting something different. They just aren’t sure about what that differentness looks like. Their purpose is unclear.stuck

The feeling itself is an indicator that we are on a path that is no longer serving us. It is our inner compass faithfully pointing North and magnetically attracting us to the perfect heading ... all the while, we are arguing that we ARE headed North when in all actuality we are headed either East or West or South and wondering why the heck we continue to drive and drive and drive without ever reaching our destination.

We think we are clear about our direction... when in fact we are not. We are often doing circles!


  • Your job... working in a field, career, or position that just flat sucks the life out of you. There is no joy and no passion in what you do.
  • Your relationship... sharing a home with someone you no longer really know, appreciate, understand, or even like anymore.
  • Your family...the same familiar cycles and patterns repeating themselves year after year and generation after generation with no end in sight.
  • Your health/weight...a steady increase in "poundage" that has morphed your body into something you no longer recognize or particularly like.
  • Your finances...there is more month at the end of the money,  so you continue to work and work and work, but the money God's don't seem to care.
  • Your age...society has prescribed certain age related "norms" that just don't feel right,  yet you are sucked into the hype and can't seem to escape in order to blaze your own trail.

The REAL culprit here is not any of the things listed above...not REALLY.

The REAL culprit is our thinking.

In order to get UN-STUCK, we must first address TWO THINGS:

1. Our current thinking...our current thinking got us to where we are now just fine ... but won't get us beyond STUCK.

This process is not easy...if it were, no one would ever be stuck! It takes effort, focus, and an objectivity that we do not have when we are looking at our own life! Even as a coach... I have a coach! I get stuck coach helps me get unstuck.

2. Clarity...Mindlessness and busyness cloud our clarity. Often times, we are just going and doing and going and doing and going and doing. As long as it feels good and the result is positive, this seems worries. It is when the results of our DOING are no longer enough that's when the stuckness sets in. We ask ourselves, "What is the point?"

So, if "clarity is power" ... Clarity of Purpose is POWERFUL!

Clarity of purpose...clarity of values... clarity of strengths ... clarity of destination... clarity of core energy. These all come when we stop focusing on DOING and focus on BEING!

When we FEEL dissatisfied, discontent, or disillusioned, we must begin to PAY ATTENTION to our internal guidance system...our intuition...our gut ... and seek to gain a sense of clarity... sense of purpose ... sense of direction.

Our core is telling us that stuckness is no longer acceptable.

This is my calling in life...MY PURPOSE!  Helping people redefine their direction. Gain clarity. Get perspective. Re-evaluate values, goals, and purpose. I love my job because I get to see first hand the transformation that takes place when people gain clarity and a renewed vision for fulfilling their life’s purpose.

When my clients go from stuck to unstuck, it is then that they are in a position of becoming UNSTOPPABLE!!

Back off Disney... You can't hold a candle to this!  It truly is MAGICAL!


Nikki Buckelew is the Co-Founder and President of Coaching and Training, a coaching and training company specializing in real estate, leadership, and life coaching for Realtors, brokers, and leaders with SoulFire. Buckelew is also the Founder and CEO of the Seniors Real Estate Institute, a coaching and training company specializing in senior real estate and housing and administrator for the Certified Senior Housing Professional® (CSHP) designation.

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